Ann’s Letter

To give you an example of the kind of weather we have. For a week we have cold frosty mornings — 20 degrees above zero — then pleasantly warm in the apt. & cold again at night — then one day the clouds look ominous — then there’s a strong wind & pretty soon the dust flies — & does it fly!

You can’t see 10’ away from you — you have to grope your way outside with your eyes closed. Inside the barracks, it’s almost as bad — the dust blows in from windows & cracks & between any small opening so that in half an hour everything in the room has a layer of dust ¼” thick. It’s dust,dust, & more dust — as this dust storm keeps up for hours & sometimes for days & weeks. It’s in your hair, eyes, nose, & mouth. You grit your teeth & find you’re gritting dust. You can imagine how Joanne & Diane reacted — I tried dusting off everytime there was a short let-up, but what was the use — the next time it’s worse. I put the children to bed covered from head to toe with a blanket. The noise is awe-filling. You’d think the roof & the whole barrack is going to be blown away. Finally it lets up — & pretty soon it’s raining mud — the rain & the dust mixing up in the air & it’s mud on our windows. A little while of this & soon it’s snowing for several hours — next morning it’s serene all over again — & cold — freezing cold!

In 3 days, you can have every kind of weather imaginable here– it’s very demoralizing & depressing. You marvel at the people here calmly shaking out the dust from things, mopping up the floors, & washing the windows — to start all over again only to have another storm of dust cover everything up again —

Not being so energetic — I just look at the people helplessly with much respect for their untiring patience.

Someday they’ll get this place paved & fixed up — but that someday is a long way off — and we’re going to see plenty of nature’s pranks & witchcraft before that time —

Just as in Tanforan, you have to go out for your meals & showers, toilets, etc. It’s pretty hard to have to go out so much these cold days — my hands are itchy & swollen from chilblains or something.

There’s a lot of politics in here, too — there’s plenty underfoot but you can’t put your finger on it — & anyway we’re helpless.

I have been very bitter, LoVerne, during the last 6 months off & on. Things like this should not have to be in a democracy — I grieve for the deprived healthy childhood that my children are entitled to. I am embittered that old innocent men & women’s lives are shortened by a living such as this that are too harsh for them. 

But the only philosophy is that this is war & certain things cannot be helped, that death is something we all must face — my father, too, perhaps, even without this war. He might have died on the very day he died — I am thankful he does not have to face anymore hardships. Utah is much worse than California & he could not have stood it, I don’t think. And I am so busy I have not much to grieve over him which must be a blessing of a sort.

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2 thoughts on “Ann’s Letter
  1. I am so impressed that this letter was saved and returned to the daughter of the writer. Thank you, thank you for that generous and important act. I read every word with great interest and empathy for the pain of this terrible experience.
    Reading it gave me the most immediate and visceral feeling for the indignities, hardships and lack of freedom endured by this family. It is one thing to read of these inhuman acts in books but the letter makes it so real and vivid.

    We discovered letters written to my mother-in-law, Rosi Mosbacher Baczewski, by her parents from Amsterdam where they had gone to escape persecution in Nuremberg, Germany. Sadly, tragicly they were murdered in Auschwitz.
    I’ll always be grateful we found and published their letters in – My Dear Good Rosi Letters from Occupied Amsterdam, 1940-1943
    Thank you so much for printing this letter. It reached my soul and touched my heart.

    1. Thank you for your kind words; I will pass them on to Diane and Jonnie (who returned the letter to Diane). I am so sorry for the loss of your relatives.
      Ruth (Topaz Stories Editor)

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