Every Little Moment

by Norman Hayashi

It was difficult trying to find these photographs. It was even more difficult looking at them, and having various emotions surface after all these years. 

Aiko Alice Hayashi carrying baby Pat; Gerald and Norman
Aiko Alice Hayashi with sons Patrick, Gerald and Norman in Topaz
Norm and brother Pat in Topaz
Norman and brother Pat in Topaz.

I was born in 1939, so I was two to five years old in camp. What do I remember? All I have are jumbled memories, no cause or effect: just dust, sand, no trees. The noisy, hot, humid mess hall. The taste of graham crackers and ice cold milk at preschool. I remember being bullied  by two older boys who looked to be 10 feet tall.  One day I didn’t come home at the usual time, so Mom came looking for me and found me killing time at school.  After that day, she met me near where the boys always waited for me.

It always seemed there were too many people, always around — especially girls and women. I was very embarrassed having to take showers with my mom and a bunch of other ladies.  Even at that young age, I was aware that men and women did not mix.  After I complained to my mom, she arranged to have a male family friend take me to the men’s showers. 

Our family unit in camp consisted of my paternal grandparents, Hirokichi and Kin Hayashi; my Uncle Warren; my dad, Henry; my mom, Aiko Alice; myself, Norman; and my brothers Gerald, born in 1942, and Patrick, 1944. My sister Marilyn wasn’t born until 1948.

The main thread passing through all these photos is that my mom was a very pretty girl and always seemed happy; but I also remember her later (after the War) as being sick often, and her lack of energy impacted our lives as kids. She was bedridden in her last few years and died at an early age—just 39 years. My dad seemed self-assured and happy too. He had a tremendous burden to carry, and with four young kids and elderly parents, I don’t know how he did it.

Grandmother Hayashi and baby Pat
Grandmother and Pat

My dad is not in these pictures. When “cleared” people were allowed to resettle to work outside camp, my dad and my Uncle Warren went to Chicago to work. My mom had to assume all the care of my grandparents and three young kids. Occasionally my dad would return for a short visit. I remember one time I was very scared of him and wouldn’t go near him. My mom and grandparents kept urging me to go up to him.

I have always felt that those years of separation affected my later relationship with my dad. We never could talk on a real intimate level. Could I blame Topaz for this? I don’t know. I ended up working side by side with my dad and uncle in their family business for 30 years. We all became closer, but with my dad, I never felt that father-son connection. 

All my life I didn’t like to do things over, rehash past events. Going through so many rough years with ill health and changing of lifestyles, for lack of better words, I tend to still live too much in the moment. 

I am finally realizing life is very complex, and almost every little moment defines our current lives.

The Hayashi family
Standing: Henry Hayashi and father Hirokichi. Sitting, from left: Kin holding Pat, Norman, Gerald, and Aiko Alice.

About the contributor: Norman Hayashi’s grandfather and granduncle opened the Hayashi Nursery in Oakland, CA in 1906. His grandfather was President of the California Flower Market in the early 1930s. The family was incarcerated in Tanforan and Topaz when Norm was two years old. After the War, they returned to find most of their property sold, so they began again. Norm’s dad Henry and Uncle Warren re-established the Hayashi Nursery in Union City in 1949. Norm took over the management in 1964 and ran it for almost 30 years.

Copyright 2020 Norman Hayashi. All rights reserved.

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